Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Pecking Order

The wee one has got a radar like ability when it comes to me taking off for the day, she puts on the charm offensive and will do everything she is told to do first time.

This seems to be done in an effort to get me to change my mind and stay at home and normally starts long before I am due to leave and it makes you wonder, what are the give away signs that the wee one can clearly pick up on.
We must give off some sort of signal that we are about to leave them behind, there must be something that we do subconsciously before going away from them for a given period of time, be it a few hours or a whole day.
Today I was on driving duty for my mum whose partner aka pops is in the spinal unit in Glasgow after a horrendous fall at his work, a stressful day for all concerned as his recovery is extremely slow and painful, perhaps the stress of the day that was going to be, was the signal the wee picked up on, that question will probably remain as unanswered, as the question of are we alone in the universe?!!
So granddad gone for the day, and to the wee one conformation that her intuition has again proved to be spot on! The next question on the wee ones mind would naturally be, who's in charge?
The wee one works out the pecking order in a flash, then takes full advantage out of the person left in charge to get her own way, on aye everything from a cheeky wee slice of cake right through to what will be played with, normally the messier the better.
 
Today the ASBO gardener aka papa was left in charge for the first hour or so, I know the ASBO gardener aka papa in charge of anything, other than the remote control for the telly, has the ability to turn a normal day into a triumph of disaster.
The wee one like most wee ones is skilled in the art of sussing out the weaknesses of those in charge, or at least supposedly in charge of her!! And plays this out like the skilled operator she is.
The law enforcer aka the chief prosecutor aka the wife arrived home to find that the wee one had manipulated the ASBO gardener aka papa out to the garden and had him cutting wood into kindlers, a job she had seen me start the day before, sadly running out of time as darkness closed in, now normally the ASBO gardener would need no invitation to get out to the garden, but when it comes to a job that actually tidies up an area...well enough said!
So why would the wee one want him cutting wood, simple really, as she knows the ASBO gardener will want her to play at a safe distance from the action, a distance that he can see her but cant quite make out what it is she is actually doing!
The dog had also been invited out to the garden by a very considerate wee one, after all the dog would be all alone in the house when there was company outside he could enjoy.
The dog would willingly join the wee one as he has long since worked out she is a decent source when it comes to getting tasty morsels of food and like most dogs he treats the wee one as one of his pack and takes his role of watching out for her very seriously.
The law enforcer aka the wife had arrived back as I said to find them all in the garden, however what she could see that the ASBO gardener aka papa could not, was a dog that was under going the fashionable treatment of having a mud pack applied, using the as yet untried formula of compost and play sand!!!Note if this becomes popular the wee one claims copyrights!!
In all the wee ones calculations and manipulations, she did not factor in the early arrival home of the law enforcer aka grannie!!!
The law enforcer aka grannie was not slow in returning law and order to the house, putting a swift end to the wee ones grand plans for the day, however it was not the end of the spa session for the dog or the wee one for that matter.
The dog enjoyed a shampoo and set, while the wee one enjoyed a bath followed by pyjamas...aye the joys of play!!
On arriving home the wee one met me like a long lost hero, a hero that had returned to save her day. Sadly for the wee one on this occasion all her hopes were dashed, as I too am pretty perceptive when it comes to judging the mood of the house, but more than that I know my place in the pecking order!!
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